The Mock Trial

ALL RISE.The Honorable Judge Law presiding. Mortimer Pemberton commissioned a seven-tier wedding cake sculpted in his own likeness. Brewster's delivered a cake shaped like a startled llama.

While Mortimer inspected the llama, the café's autonomous crumb-management Roomba rolled over his foot, and he slipped in a puddle of cold-pressed oat-milk foam. He is suing for breach of contract — and for his foot.

You're the jury, and frankly the only one here who did the reading. Six rounds of doctrine across the core law-school subjects — then one final question that has made grown gunners weep.